To thine own self be true – William Shakespeare

To thine own self be true – William Shakespeare

I have realised over the last six months how incredible it is that I have lived in my body for thirty-four years and yet I know so little of myself. Is this normal?

Am I just exceptionally naive or unaware? Is this just a normal part of growing up? Do other people realise why they do what they do and what their habits are? Do others know when their behaviour serves them and when it self-sabotages? How is it possible that I have always been this person, every second of every day, and yet I know so little of this self that I am?

Last night, due to the actions of an ex-boyfriend with all the good intentions in the world, I came to realise something that I wish someone had

pointed out to me years ago. There have been quotes expressing the wisdom of it around me for much of my life. But nobody said to me ‘Candice, do you get this? Hey! Take note. This is important! This is worth understanding!’ But last night

– I GOT IT!! Not just a concept or idea but a right-to-the-bones understanding: it’s only when we really know ourselves that we can be completely honest with others. How can we be true to others when we ourselves are guessing at what we want or how we feel. How can we look out for anyone if we’re so busy people-pleasing that our own needs and desires are lost. How then do we really help anyone? No action or emotion will stand up for long if it’s not something that is really true for us.

 

I have now committed to a passionate quest to know myself, really know who I am. To understand my patterns, my insecurities, how emotions manifest in my body and what they’re trying to tell me. I want to know what the best version of myself would behave like so that in the tough moments I can step into those shoes. I understand that I am taking on a life’s work but I am going to be taking this challenge up with both hands and as much energy as I have. After all, I am the one person that I am stuck with for the rest of my life. I may as well get to know myself well. I feel it is the most valuable way I can serve the world.