The Art of Listening
I had no idea that I knew so little about listening. I mean I’d been told since young. “Listen to me. Candice, are you listening to me?” But I never go
t that listening involved more than just opening my ears or hearing words.
If only 7% of communication is words I might want to pay attention to the remaining 93% of communication if I’m going to listen well.What emotion am I witnessing (tone, facial expression, body language)? What prejudices or judgements are clouding my ability to listen openly? How much is my own mind-speak translating what is being said into a whole new story? And most profoundly for me – when people speak they want to know they are heard, felt, understood. Very seldom do they need to hear my ideas or solutions.
I have had the good fortune of tripping over Mark Goulston’s book “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone” This book is jam packed with great examples and skills to help one to become a better listener and therefore a better communicator.
I feel so enriched by just encountering the concept of deep listening. One idea that I am still learning to apply is – ‘notice where my mind is while others speak’. Is my mind open and free while I listen or is it focused on forming counter arguments or idea’s. I realize I have so much learn.
Do you have any tips or ideas that really enrich the skill of listening?