Relationships 5 | The Energy of Relationships | 061

In this episode, Liz Cunningham talks about the energy of relationships. Which is about being aware and intentional about how we navigate the four aspects of ourselves – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual – in relation to our outward world so that we show up with more well-being and resilience than ever before.

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01:46     Our Relationships with Four Aspects of Ourselves

“Everything we do and everything we are in relationship with outwardly draws on these four aspects of ourselves – our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual selves.”

04:08     Change Your Story

“Nothing in life has any meaning other than the meaning we give. But so often, we’re not consciously aware of the meaning we give to life’s events.”

05:15     Stop and Take a Breath

“When we breathe and when we pause and we are aware of our breath,

  • it raises our vibration;
  • also connects us, creates awareness, and allows us to pay attention to the sensations of our inward world.”

Find yourself a comfortable place to be seated.

Feel your feet on the earth.

Place one hand on your chest, soften your eyes, and become aware of the sensation of your hand on your chest.

Continue to breathe – in and out through your nose.

As you breathe in and out through your nose, imagine that breath going directly through your hand into your heart, really connecting your awareness and paying attention to the sensation of your heart.

Continue to breathe – in and out through your nose.

As you breathe, slightly lengthen the breath in (perhaps to extend it to the count of five) and low slow breath out (also to about the count of five). Imagine those breaths going directly into your heart.


09:40     What is your Story? – “I just don’t have enough …”

The overwhelming response to that statement is one of two things – “I just don’t have enough time” and, of course, “I just don’t have enough money.” Both of which create enormous amounts of pressure and stress in our story.


“I just don’t have enough time”

There will only ever be 24 hours in a day. But we CAN generate more energy in our lives. Then we are able to use our time more effectively.


Energy Dynamics Map

Take a pencil and paper.

Draw a little circle at the centre.

Put the word “Me” inside that central circle.

Think about how much time you spend with different aspects of your life e.g. different relationships with people, different activities that you’re involved with.

With each of these, create a little dot on the page – The distance from that central circle depicts whether you spend more or less time on that particular relationship e.g. if you spend a lot of time at work, the dot representing work would be close to that central circle.

Reflect on everything in your life that you give your time to.

Notice now, when you think of that relationship, does it drain you of energy or does it energize you?


21:52     Interesting Anecdote about Changing your Story

A working mother of six children had a very busy family life. She felt that there was just no “me” time. There was nothing that she could really put down. Things had to get done.

She found it incredible that, when the time for doing the dishes came up, everybody would disappear and she would end up having to do the dishes by herself. And she found herself getting so resentful, frustrated and exhausted.

Then, she suddenly realized that she could change the meaning she gave some of those activities. For example, nobody bothered her when she was washing dishes.

So, she realized that, actually, she could put on some music; she could pour herself a glass of wine; and she could wash some dishes for as long as she needed some “me” time, and nobody would interrupt her.

And all of a sudden, instead of washing dishes being the most draining, frustrating time where she would be resentful, she chose that it would become her time. Her whole experience changed completely.

Of course, that then impacted on her relationship when she stepped out of the kitchen to everyone around her because she was no longer feeling resentful and drained.

So she was able to show up as the best version of herself in the evenings.


28:20     Having a different relationship with the human “doingness” of life

Have a look at your relationship map and your energy in the relationships that you have.

How possible is it, that with a little bit of reframing and with a little bit of change of heart and an awareness of the areas in which you are being drained emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, one is able to see our world and our responsibilities through different eyes?


Check out The Ingredients of Emotional Intelligence Parts 1& 2

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