EQ Blog

Is your Thinking causing you Stress? | 015

By: Candice Dick
12th December 2017

Byron Katie shares a beautiful description of our thinking causes us stress. After all our thoughts are the most regular company you keep.

When you begin to notice your thoughts, one of the first things you’ll see is that you’re never alone. You’re not alone with your lover or with anyone else; you’re not even alone with yourself. Wherever you go, whomever you’re with, the voice in your head goes with you, whispering, nagging, enticing, judging, chattering, shaming, guilt-tripping, or yelling at you. When you wake up in the morning, your thoughts wake up with you. They push you out of bed and follow you to work. They make comments about people at the office and people in the store. They follow you to the bathroom, get into your car when you do, and come back home again with you. Whether or not someone is waiting for you at home, your thoughts will be there waiting for you.  … The way you relate to your thoughts – that’s what you bring to every relationship you have, including the one with yourself.  – Byron Katie ,extract from I need your love – is it true?

True intelligence operates silently. Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found.

Eckhard Tolle, extract from Stillness speaks

Three Ways to create space and change in your thinking (as discussed in this podcast)

  1. Brain Dump
  2. Stillness Practice
  3. The Work of Byron Katie

Terms used in The Work of Byron Kate

One-liner

This is a short, simple sentence. The Judge-Your-Neighbour Worksheet helps identify one-liners. One-liners represent thoughts and stories we have about reality.   Examples are: People should listen to me. Paul shouldn’t smoke. Life is difficult. I missed my chance. Andrew doesn’t care about me. Susan should be kind to me.

My Business

“To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.” – Byron Katie

Your Business

“When I was mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother’s business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or alone, I had been in someone else’s business. If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there.” – Byron Katie

God’s Business

“When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business, the effect is separation. Whose business is the weather? God’s business. (Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else’s control – I call that God’s business.) – Byron Katie

 Getting Familiar with the Four Questions

The four questions are often referred to as inquiry or investigation. Turning around the original statement completes the process. Together, this is The Work of Byron Katie.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn the statement around.

The turnarounds are an opportunity to consider the opposite of what you believe to be true. A judgment can be turned around to yourself, to the other, and to the opposite.

 

Do you need more knowledge? Is more information going to save the world, or faster computers, more scientific or intellectual analysis? Is it not wisdom that humanity needs most at this time?

But what is wisdom and where is it to be found? Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.  – Eckhart Tolle

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Resources

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